"Aren't You Scared?!?"

Before I start, I would like to thank 2 people: First, Mack Leach. We met Mack in Columbus, Mississippi, and he bought us dinner at the most fabulous steak house in town. Second, John Duncan, a Deputy Sheriff in Selma, Alabama. We asked him if there was a public library in Selma (to update the blog!). He offered to drive us to the library...but instead, he took us to a really nice motel, pulled out a $100 bill from his wallet, and told us to get a hotel room in the safe part of town. He knew the hotel had a computer we could use for our blog, so we didn't have to visit the seedy section of town. Apparently they have 4-5 shootings per week? Whew, thank goodness for locals. And thanks, John. The hotel room is awesome.

Thanks to everyone we have met on this trip. You have all restored my faith in the human race. Mostly:)

Anyway, I know I said I was going to write about the Royal Gorge and whitewater rafting, but I really wanted everyone to hear about our sketchy motel experience.

"Aren't you scared?!?"

That was the question we got from the lady at the grocery store where we were buying supplies for dinner. It was a response to the motel we told her we were staying in for the night.

"Scared? Wait, what?"

Apparently, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

We had stopped in Aberdeen, Mississippi for the night. The town was relatively small, and there weren't too many motels. Just like every city in Mississippi or Alabama, we have been warned by the locals not to camp because we were in a "dangerous area". It ended up working out anyway, because the weather had been so bad for the past couple of days, that it was wise to stay in a motel anyway.

There were three motels to choose from: Best Western, which was too expensive, some other small motel, but I couldn't understand the guy at the front desk (really thick Indian accent), and the Tombigbee Inn, which was $35 after tax. SCORE. We headed up and booked a room. We had been in cheaper motels, so we weren't really concerned.

Ok, we have camped and slept in some pretty sketchy places, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING compared to this place. This is the one situation where I really wished I had looked at the room first. Try to picture this:

• We almost had to kick the door open because it was stuck. 18 layers of paint will do that.
• Nasty green carpet that was tracked over so many times it was more of a dark brown. Neither one of us wanted to take off our shoes while we were there.
• The tiny television had a message written on it in White-Out: "If you see this TV please don't buy this TV from anyone. Please call ###-###-#### if you see this TV anywhere." Yikes.
• There was a little pine tree air freshener hanging from the light fixture on the wall. And there was no lightbulb in the fixture. Come to think of it, there was only one little lightbulb in the whole room. It gave off about as much light as a small Bic lighter.
• I'm not sure, but I think there was a murder committed in the bathroom. There were creepy rust-colored spots everywhere, and they wouldn't go away. There was a bottle opener drilled into the door frame, but it had also been painted over 18 times.
• The bathtub also looked like it was painted, but the 18 layers of paint had been splitting and puckering for several years now. The hot and cold handles were different....one was a long, thin handle, the other one was a circle. They both looked like someone had pulled them out of the trash. And they were on the wrong sides, so it took me a second to understand why the water was not getting hot. We were so creeped out, both of us showered with our flip-flops. And clothes. :)
• There was a giant bug in the toilet when we first got there. Bethany flushed it, but I kept having images of insects swarming out of the plumbing. And there was nothing that could get me to actually sit on the toilet seat (which, by the way, was 2 sizes too small for the actual toilet, so there was a chance that you could literally fall in). Those rust-colored spots made an appearance there as well.
• The sink had funky handles. They were angled differently, and one turned left, while the other one turned right. And no matter how hard you pushed, it didn't stop the drip. Drip. Drip. Drip....Drip........Drip............
• You know how motels give you one or two bars of soap and the very least? Well, this motel was no different. It gave us two bars of mystery soap. The only problem was this soap looked like it had been sitting in the soap dish for weeks. If not years. I'm not sure how many "customers" this place has. The paper had faded from an off-white shade to a yellowish orange. You couldn't read the name on the paper. It also looked like someone had dipped them in water before placing them in the soap dish, because the paper was all crinkly....much like it would be if you, say, dropped it in the toilet water then put it back. Not saying that's what happened, but it was WEIRD. And there was no way we were even touching the soap.
• Don't you love how motels have those curtains that keep the sun out in the morning? Yeah, this was not one of those. There were 2 yellow curtains on our window. They were nearly see-through. They were cinched together in the middle and held together by pieces of shoelace threaded through little holes. The icing on the cake was the Breathe-Right strip that held together the last portion of the curtain. Magical. Magical, I tell you. There was also a black binder clip that held the curtain to the rod on top. I'm not making this up, I swear! I know you don't believe me, which is why I have a million pictures to prove it. I took more pictures in this motel room in 10 minutes than I had taken in the last 3 days.
• Most peep holes have glass in them. Ours had toilet paper shoved into the hole where the peep hole used to be.
• There was a brown folding chair at the "desk" in the room. Yeah, right.
• The motel was called the Tombigbee Inn, yet it had a "Clubhouse Inn" ice bucket and a "Rodeway Inn" pack of matches. Strange? Yes, strange.
• The sign outside the motel said " Butget 00 Rates. Weeklyyrate" It should be noted that the "W" is actually and upside-down "M".
• And last, but not least: the bed. Oh dear goodness, the bed. I won't even get into the bedspread. Bethany and I yanked that thing off and didn't touch it for the rest of the time we were in the room. Other than the spread, there was one thin sheet underneath. You know how Dateline does those exclusives in hotel rooms where they shine the blacklight, and it reveals all the disgusting "fluids" on the sheets. Ugh, we didn't need the blacklight. We could see all the stains with the ole' naked eyeball. Gag me, seriously. There was no way we were going to sleep on those sheets.

We were at the local Piggly Wiggly (HA!!!) trying to decide what to do about the bed situation. I'm not kidding, I'm gagging inside just writing this story, and we have seen some gross things on this trip.

As we were checking out, the lady asked us where we were staying. When we told her, she recoiled in fear, and looked at her fellow cashier. They both looked at us....kinda like you would look at someone if they had 2 heads. "Aren't you scared?" Well NOW I am. A little. But thanks for doing your best to calm my fears, ladies.

They told us to go next door to their equivalent of the Dollar General (which is in EVERY small town in America, along with Main Street and Walnut Street), and pick up some antibacterial spray to hose the room with. Dear goodness.

Instead, we came up with the fabulous idea of using those giant black garbage bags. Bethany cut them open lengthwise, and used them to cover every visible portion of the bed. Then we used our sleeping bags on top. Brilliant! I use the term "brilliant" loosely, because we might have been better off sleeping on the concrete patio in front of the door, just going inside to use the bathroom. That probably would have been our best option.

Oh, and the whole room smelled like someone had chain-smoked for a decade without ever opening the door.

Again, it would be easy to think I'm exaggerating, but I promise you, not even my clever mind could come up with the "Breathe-Right on the curtain" thing. Because....ewww. We just hope it wasn't used ahead of time. Grrrrooooosssssssssssss.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we escaped without catching a disease, and we weren't murdered in our sleep (although I slept with some protection, just in case). And we have a ton of pictures that I can't wait to share. But much like the beautiful Bryce Canyon, or some of the other breathtaking landscapes on this trip....you just don't get the full effect with a picture:)