Mace in the Face

First of all, we made it into Mississippi today. Yay! Hopefully Alabama tomorrow, or the next day at the latest. We're running into really rough weather right now, which is likely because I am a big fat jinx. I just HAD to brag about the fact that we only had 20 minutes of rain in the first 5 weeks of the trip. *Sigh*. It has rained almost 50% of the time since then. Now we're getting tornado warnings and threats of hail. Sheesh. Squishy and wet shoes are the worst!

And here is the story....it will probably be quick.

We have noticed, particularly in the south, that there are unchained dogs EVERYWHERE. You think I'm exaggerating when I capitalize "everywhere", but I'm not kidding. Every half-mile, sometimes quarter-mile, some freakishly large dog-horse thing comes charging out from under a pick-up truck. Sometimes they hop a fence. Sometimes they appear out of nowhere. There are always 2 or more, and they come at you strategically. Oh, yes, they have done this before, and they have worked out a solid plan. I love animals, but I don't mind telling you that I wouldn't be upset if some of these dogs accidentally tripped and face-planted into a ditch on their way to terrorize us.

Well, we've become pretty good at dealing with the dogs. The pepper spray is always in easy reach if it gets out of control, but I think they know I mean business. I can be very intimidating. Stop laughing. If all else fails, I'll slow down just enough for them to catch up to Bethany, then speed off as fast as I can. She can probably handle herself. :).

On one occasion in Kansas, we were still with Joel and Jessica. They hiked the Appalachian Trail several years ago, and still have the can of Grizzly Mace that they used for that trip. I'm not sure, but I think it is 30% more powerful than your average can of mace. So, we were just on our way out of Kansas...Joel and Jessica were about 20 yards ahead of us. A big black dog came bounding off of a porch, headed straight for Joel. It was barking like it was ready to tear something apart. Almost as a reflex, Joel pulled out his Grizzly Mace and hosed the dog. HOSED it. Right in the face. The FACE! I just want you to get a clear image of what was happening. It looked like a garden hose went rogue. And it sounded like a fire extinguisher. It was actually pretty cool. And I made a mental note not to upset Joel for any reason.

The poor dog had no idea what happened. It stopped barking immediately and ran off with its tail between its legs. Bethany and I saw the whole thing happen, and we were happy that neither one of us would have to deal with the dog. We watched it run off, feeling a little bad, but also a little relieved. Just as I turned my focus back to the road, I was slammed with the fog of the remaining mace. Half a second later, Bethany rode through it too. UGH! Eyes burning! Lungs not working! Coughing! Sneezing! My eyes burned like someone had poured acid in them. I couldn't breathe because it burned my lungs. Bethany and I both immediately started coughing. Because I couldn't see, I had to stop the bike in the middle of the road and pray that no oncoming cars hit me. Bethany managed to avoid getting it in the eyes, so she pulled over to safety. It was so miserable. My eyes teared for a bit before I could see well enough to continue. Fortunately Bethany recovered quickly. The effects lingered on me for a little while. I like to think that I was protecting her....you know, being the first in line (and the big sister). I think you should also know that Bethany finds that extremely hilarious. And unlikely. :)

I should also mention that my lips burned for nearly half an hour. We were 20 yards behind the initial spray, and it was still miserable. I can't imagine what the poor dog felt. Hence, I will only use the pepper spray if the dog is chewing my leg off. Mostly because I'm afraid I will do it wrong and end up spraying myself. You know that would happen. That's how I roll.

I should also mention that Joel got a huge kick out of the whole situation. And we would make him retell the story over and over, only because he did killer impressions of us the second we were hit. Have I mentioned how much fun this trip is? :)

So there you have it....a short story, somewhat unsatisfying now that I've written it down in its entirety. But the fact remains, we were hit with Grizzly Mace, even if it was accidental.

Next up: Royal Gorge and whitewater rafting!

Love the comments. It makes us happy. I wish I could respond to everyone, but I have no idea how. :) Curses, technology!